About The Ballyeffin Beacon™.
Established in 1632, The Ballyeffin Beacon™ has documented the tumultuous history of the Ballyeffin Boglands™ and beyond. Notoriously notorious, with, over the decades, a litany of stepped-on toes throbbing in the desolate Boglands, The Ballyeffin Beacon continues to piss people off, as well as shitting on them, and fostering dis-harmony throughout the community whilst within the same breath projecting an image of self-righteousness. They’re Great.
The Ballyeffin Beacon™ is a News Juggernaut. We are the dominant news publication on the Ballyeffin Boglands™ in Middle Ireland where we have undermined all other publications, then hounded them out of business, and become the inventor of all appropriate news content. We publish news and information solely to suit our, and our benefactors agenda of World Domination. We are extremely popular and have affected many people throughout the decades and there is hardly a home we have not entered in Ireland (We used to lay tarmacadam) and effected a few new laws.
Features:
-Our Breaking News is well planned in advance.
-We are Brown-Envelope friendly.
-Greased Palms are the rule rather than the exception.
-We get well bribed for our Financial and Property articles; and all the rest of them.
-We never criticise our Advertisers, Backers or Patrons. (We lick their arses rather enthusiastically.)
-Money and Power are our only motivation.
-We are available in many languages (See Google Translate) and read internationally (www).
